he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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