just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize