dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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