New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
