no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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