Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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