Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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