Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
