Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
