Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
