There was a lot of him and a little penis
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
