He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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