so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
