I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
