he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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