A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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