WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
