then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
