that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
