Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
