Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
