so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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