Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
