Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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