But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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