I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
