I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
