She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
