I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
