Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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