Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
