In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
