He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
