you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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