I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
