Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
