Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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