I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I believe in your delicious
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
