So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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