I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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