Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He shit in the fireplace
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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