you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
