My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
