Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
