I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize