Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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