Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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