Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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