pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
