Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
