Your mouth is God's brothel.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
