its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize