giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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