the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
