pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize