I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
