Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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