she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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