My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
