Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize