Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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