ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
