My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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