So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
