She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
