Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
