I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize