Sponge bath it is.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
