mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
it glows. i had to have it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize