The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
