Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
