So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize