I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
