So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
