just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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